Torn

"They say follow your heart..

but when your heart is broken into two..

which way am I to follow?"

Morning Thoughts

A zip of morning coffee, tea, and a newspaper.
Wishing that I could be outdoor enjoying the sun in a morning breeze,
and yet I was trapped inside of a high-end mall.

Looking at women in a trendy clothes and designer handbags.
Looking at men waiting for their spouses went shopping.
At the girls proudly showing off their legs and belly,
And at the guys with the latest mobile phone.

This is what my life is now.
Trapped from buildings to buildings.
Trapped with people showing off.

My life is good.
Praise God for that.

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread
(Mother Teresa)

- heal the world, make peace with yourself -

Dedicated to JW. Marriott & Ritz Carlton Bombing (July 17th, 2009)

Lift Me Up

This beautiful song has kept me from falling apart.
Keep it strong. Keep it tall. Because life must go on.
Enjoy... :)

Kate Voegele - Lift Me Up.mp3

This road is anything but simple,
Twisted like a riddle, I've seen High, I've seen low.
So loud, the voices over my doubts,
Telling me to give up, pack up, leave town.
Even so I had to believe, Impossible means nothing to me,

Can you lift me up?
Turn the ashes into flames,
I have overcome more than words can ever say,
I've been given hope that there's a light on up the hall,
And a day will come when the fight is won,
I think that day had just begun.

Somewhere, everybody starts there,
Counting on a small prayer, lost in a nightmare.
You're here, suddenly it's so clear,
The struggle through the long years,
It's hard for me to outrun my fears.
But everything that's worth having, Comes with trials worth withstanding.

Can you lift me up?
Turn the ashes into flames,
I have overcome more than words can ever say,
I've been given hope that there's a light on up the hall,
And a day will come when the fight is won, And I think that day has just begun.

Oh lift me up, Oh lift me up,
Oh lift me up, Oh lift me up,

Down and out is overrated,
I need to be elevated,
Looking up is not enough,
I would rather rise above, Oh, Oh, Oh.

Decision in question

How do you know whether you've made a right decision?

Life is all about making choices. Sometimes people complain about the choices they made.

Not often we heard people saying "why didn't I made the other decision instead of this, then I wouldn't have to bla bla bla...". But do people really know what will happen if they choose to do the other?

Like me. I got so confused when choosing where to live. Choices are whether to go back to Australia with no job or stay in Jakarta with a job at hand. I finally choose to stay in Jakarta.

Do I made the right choice? I don't know.

I oftenly complain and say "If only I'm in Melbourne right now..." But what if I really in Melbourne right now? what would I do? would I got a job yet? would I be happy? I don't know. I will never know.

So really, how to tell whether the decision we made is correct?

I missed the old Disney movie

I just finished watching Horton Hears a Who. I noticed before I watch the movie that the voice for Jojo character would be done by Jesse McCartney. I knew Jesse is a singer and that is why I expect he sings in the movie. Sadly, Jojo only had given several lines for the whole movie. And the worst part is that there is only one song, ONE SONG, for the entire movie, which is the end song.

I always expected a lot of songs when I watch cartoon animation. Remember the old times Disney movies such as Aladdin, Snow white, Cinderella, and all the other fairytales with their princesses? They all have songs! I guess the producer has lost the sense of musical theme in their movies.

I also missed the princesses and their knight in shiny armor.
Why isn’t anyone make that kind of movie anymore?
Has they all realized that fairy tales is overrated?
And building a dream for little children that someday, somehow, a prince will come is not going to come true?

No matter how impossible for that to come true, don’t we still like to dream?
A dream that maybe someday, somehow, will give us eternal happiness.

Maybe your image of prince charming isn’t always a handsome prince with a white horse.
Maybe your prince charming is a house with view of an ocean.
Or maybe it is to be a CEO in some huge-multibillion company.

No matter how impossible it might sound right now, I believe that we, as human, have never given a wish without the power to make it come true.
Just believe in yourself and your inner strength.
You have the power to be whatever you want to be.

Maybe the road is rough at the moment, buy I believe, like Cinderella, I will someday meet someone who will help me realize my dream.

My own prince charming.

..when the bright future is for you to create

"To often, the thing you want the most is the one thing you can't have

But as tough as wanting something can be

the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want"

(Greys Anatomy S3-E21)

This is the start of year 2008. Have you decide what to do with your life yet? For me, silly to say that I am still not sure. All I want is to get a job, either part time or full time. Even better if I can get my dream job as an engineer/scientist.

Finger crossed and wish me luck.

Silent night

My housemates have gone for work and will be back in 3 days.
My mom who usually calls, today didn't.
My chatterbox girl-friend who usually very chatty, today didn't.
My boy-friend who usually bugs me, today didn't.

So today I filled my day with VOGUE, some few cherries, and lots of Project Runway.

Suddenly miss my high school girlfriends 

"The Capsa Queens".

 Wondering the time when the four of us will meet up again.

Their locations at the end of year 2007 are:

Yulichia : Vancouver, Canada

Felicia a.k.a Amoy : Jakarta, INA

Dewi : Perth, AU

Myself : Melbourne, AU

Hopefully at the end of year 2008 we could celebrate New Year's Eve together, as we planned.

AARrghhhHHhhH

I am so damn tired of this!

It's not like I didn't study at all! It's the freakin fuckin questions that is so fuckin tough! I'm sure I'm not the only one who fucked up that exam. What is wrong with that bald, ugly-faced, meanie lecturer????? "Do the tutorial questions and you'll be fine guys"-yeah right I'm NOT FINE. Why can't he be nice for ONCE!!!!! This is fuckin last semester. And the subject he teach is freakin ENVIRONMENTAL ENGINEERING. NOT fucking design!!!!!!!!!!! It supposed to be theory with the little tiny bits of simple calculation. Why the HELL did he gave fucking design question?????? Since when does environmental engineering equals to fucking design????????

Fuck this!

I just want to pass engineering. Why you make it seems impossible?? Freakin MEAN lecturer!

Fuck fuck fuck!

A fight inside me

Why can't we choose whom to love?
My heart doesn’t obey my brain
Silly, that it is confusing
Silly, that it hurts

Hoping the brain win the battle
or
they resolve it in a peaceful way

~Lets wait~

Life is about choices

Sweets or crackers?
Skirt or jeans?
Long hair or short hair?

How I wished that choices in life is as simple as that.

Why choices?
Life is full of choices. Your future is built based on the choices you made.
"What if" is the next question. What if I chose the red pill instead of the blue ones (remember Matrix the movie?)

I have HUGE decisions (yes its plural) to make before the end of this year. These decisions are related to each other and I have to sacrifice one in order to get the other one. And this decisions will definetely affect my entire life.

I hate to make decision; I'm afraid to make the wrong one.

The time is ticking... I have to decide soon...
God Help me!

Ulat di dalam SilverQueen Cokelat

Ada yang suka coklat ini? Ada berita buruk nih. Baca terus ya...




Barusan ibu telepon, katanya ia mencoba product barunya SilverQueen yaitu SilverQueen Chunky Bar (maaf gak bisa nemuin imagenya). Dibukalah si cokelat, kertasnya dirobek, terus cokelatnya dipotes di tengah. Begitu kagetnya ketika ia melihat putih-putih rada menjijikan di dalamnya. Begitu dilihat lebih jelas, ternyata isinya adalah seekor ulat! Yang lebih parahnya, si ulat ini menggeliat-geliat. Yup, dia masih hidup! Spontan, dilemparlah si cokelat. Rekan kantornya justru yang memberanikan diri melihat lebih dekat dan lalu membelah batang cokelat itu di bagian yang lain. Ternyata tengah cokelatnya ada bolong-bolong kecil alias keropos sudah digigiti si ulat. Bayangkan berapa ulat yang hidup disana. Sayang ibu tidak mengabadikan gambarnya (gak inget foto katanya). FYI, SilverQueen tersebut dibeli di Hypermart Kota. Kata ibu sih mau dilaporkan ke consumer affair. Tapi aku bilang masukan ke Surat Pembaca saja, biar seluruh Indonesia tahu!

Global Recall of ReNu with MoistureLoc Contact Lens Cleaning Solution

News for Contact Lens user!!

Have you ever heard or even used ReNu by Bausch & Lomb contact lenses cleaning solution?
If your answer is “yes”, then this is a news for you.

On Thursday, 11 May 2006, Bausch & Lomb met with Food & Drug Adminstration officials regarding to the investigation to one of their product, ReNu with MoistureLoc. It was found that the formulation of ReNu with MoistureLoc product can increase the risk of Fungal Keratis infection. The company thus has decided to permanently remove the ReNu MoistureLoc product worldwide.

What is Fungal Keratis?

Based on article published by Ophthalmology section from Purdue University, Fungal Keratis is a serius and painful corneal disease that is caused by fungal infection. The disease will requires prolonged and expensive treatment; or under the worst case scenario, it can result in blindness or the need for enucleation.

Symtoms:

• Blurred vision
• Red and painful eye that does not improve when the contact lens is removed
• Increased sensitivity to light
• Excessive tearing or discharge

So if you have any of these symtoms, better contact your optometrist immediately.

The fact is I actually use ReNu all the time for the past (perhaps) 2 years! I am so shocked by the articles. Contact Lenses is actually very useful although maybe a little bit more dangerous than glasses. But I can not imagine if I have to live without it. Glasses is so not for me. Praise and a big thank you to the scientists for inventing contact lens! and to Bausch & Lomb, you dissapoint me *sigh*