Boyssssssssss

Melbourne, 16 May 2007
8.47 am

Geez, I woke up early but have no energy to go to Uni. Today is tutorial (which I hate because the homework sheet is so tough and the tutor is NOT helping at all). So I decided to stayed at home and tell my story about last night.

I dunno where to start, really…

So I have this boyfriend back in Indonesia, so this is what we called long distance relationship (LDR). I feel lately that he don’t care anymore about me. He never calls anymore, he never online to chat with me as he used to do. He still SMS me every day, but the content would be so general that it bore me. And when I reply his text, it would take him an hour before he replied back. Let just say that I am tired waiting for him.

Last night I have two friends (boys, and they don’t know that I have a boyfriend) chatting with me online in MSN. They talk and flirt with me about relationship. OK, they asked me to be they girlfriend =P

Funny it is that they are not the only one. I text my other friend during that same night, we chatted on the phone, and play pranks with each other. This boy (I think) is attracted to me too. He cares, he asked me out, he always chat with me mostly every day.

The question is now… with that 3 boys waiting for my reply, what the hell am I doing with this careless boyfriend of mine? Why don’t I just having relationship with one of those guys? I must tell you that 2 out of 3 are in Melbourne so I won’t need to have LDR, which is sucks by the way. Why why why?????

I guess I’m still expecting something from my boyfriend. But lately, every time he SMS me, all I’m feeling is sadness, because I have to deal or think of him again. In my mind, I am over with him, although he never dies in my heart. Every time I tried to talk with him about this, he always always find a way to change my mind. Always have excuses, and make me think that I am the one who asking too much from him. I don’t know how to break up with him. I’ve tried several times, trust me, but I never succeeded.

Now I really don’t know what to do. Will I be happier without him? God, help me decide. Help me to have the courage to talk with him without him shaking my ground again. Help me to know the differences. Just, help me please…

And if he is not the one, help me to break up with him. Tell me tricks on ‘how to lose a guy immediately’!